That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
