So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
