he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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