well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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