And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Can you bring me the toilet please
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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