He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Small penises have feelings too.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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