Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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