...so i touched it.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
