So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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