Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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