i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
