And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
