I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
