i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Randomize
