you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Randomize
