only if we run a train.
done.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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