they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
