it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I want a musical about memes.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
