If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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