Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
