girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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