He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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