I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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