i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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