I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
