Redeem this text for a blowjob
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
