What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
