he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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