He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
