You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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