I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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