It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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