Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
