STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
