wanna go halves on a baby?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
