Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
