TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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