The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
