apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
