He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
