Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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