babies were throwing up all over the place
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
