i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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