I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
