trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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