defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I came so hard my ears popped.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
