HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
