I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
