It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
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