I queefed so loud it echoed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You ate ashes out of my bong
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
